i would love a big ole slice of something pumpkin right now

here we are: baseball season. ugh. double ugh. triple ughhhh. why can't someone just win this thing? sam is biting his nails, yelling at the screen and jumping up periodically when "his" team does something he likes and punching the air. punching the air? really? yes, really. it makes me laugh how he talks to the screen and the players, addressing them by their last names like they are old bros. i think i'd rather watch 24 hours of football followed by 24 hours of basketball only to be followed by 24 hours of tennis, but only if its the kind where they players grunt after every swing. THAT is how much i don't really care for baseball.

so here is what is on my mind, since it is not baseball...

i would love a big ole slice of pumpkin loaf from jacob meyers deli. pumpkin is my kryptonite. except for the pumpkin spice lattes at starbucks...they just aren't that good. i don't know what it is about pumpkin and cream cheese that just makes me want to throw caution to the wind and eat until i'm sick.

side note: the game is now tied and sam is doing his happy-i-just-can't-sit-for-one-minute-longer-dance. i wish i could record it for you. its quite entertaining.

back to pumpkin. i went to a moms-night-out last week and got to learn to decorate cupcakes for halloween with some of the girls i go to mops with. now if that last sentence didn't make much sense to you go do some google-ing.

cupcakes to me don't even need frosting, i just love cupcakes. one of the cupcakes was a pumpkin cupcake. oh.dear.lord.have.mercy. what they did was mix a box of regular vanilla cake mix with a can of pumpkin and a little all spice and voila! pumpkin cupcake goodness. i was in heaven and could have eaten 18 of them. i want to meet the genius behind that invention and shake her hand!

enough about pumpkin. lets talk about evelyn. maybe she should be a pumpkin for halloween! kidding.
evelyn is into ice these days. well, she has been for a bit. she LOVES her a good, cold piece of ice. she just can't get enough. she eats until it turns her mouth bright red and then begs for more.

"comgimmmetaste" that's for uncle dave

she is just so observant of things too. she obsesses over things on the floor, the grooves in between the wood slats, spots on the table...i can't help but wonder if this means anything about how she will be as she gets older.

we had our first big snow yesterday and i wanted to take her out in it but decided against it since the power went out and we were without everything including water for about 5 hours.

she is wearing a nighty that i wore 

 

 

she is just such a happy baby except for when her teeth are bothering her. she is army crawling, pulling herself up to a sitting position from being on her tummy and talking all the time. we just can't get enough of her!

don't cha just wanna pinch those cheekies?
we love our mo.

genetics strikes again

i took evelyn to the dr today for a rash and an unknown odd looking, red circle on her leg. the dr took one look at the red circle and said, "well that is a birth mark, and she's really got some sensitive skin, doesn't she." i think this means she may be walking the same sensitive skin road as her momma. poor thing. at least there is a light at the end of the tunnel and my skin somehow made it out fairly unscathed.

now we do the big switch. we switch to sensitive wipes, different lotions, and body washes....yipee, what fun. but its more than that. i've noticed for a while now that when she is in diaper only and someone handles her a rash breaks out all over her back and tummy. and when she is on the carpet or rugs with her legs exposed she gets a red rash that really takes hours to go away. poor little peanut looks like a peppermint most of the time. it ain't pretty. but we still love our little peppermint patty baby.

the dr also noticed that she is cutting her top two teeth. she got her bottom middle two in her 4th month. i suppose its about time for the next one to torture her and in turn us. cutting teeth is just non-stop fun for all involved. fun for the whole family indeed.

and now, now that my little peppermint patty has taken her leave of us for the evening, making her way into dreamland i can't help but wonder what she dreams about. i bet she dreams of her favorite toys: guapo the snail, bizzy the bug, bumble the bee... or maybe she dreams of the last piece of ice she went to town on before bedtime. now that i really think about it i should be stealing myself away and trying to find dreamland myself. it's not always as easy as it should be.

i'll let you know when those teeth break on through to the othah side. break on through to the othah side...

baby showers and octopus arms

old friends are good friends. so say plato and so say i. i don't think plato really said that but he may have if he had had really good friends.

i was privileged to be invited and get to go to an old, precious friend's baby shower this past saturday. i didn't know most of the people there but the few i did made it well worth the trip up to ft. collins. it is so refreshing and was a wonderful reminder of how great friendships carry through the years even when time passes and you don't get to talk as much as you'd like. i was so excited to get to celebrate this special time with Jillian and of course reminisce on my own, previous, pregnancy. 

Jillian and i both agreed that we weren't fans of being pregnant. no one can argue that the final product is worth all that went into it. everything from the incessant heartburn, stretch marks and carpel tunnel. oh, and not to mention the having to pee every five minutes...or less. all of those things seemingly last forever and in the end, if you make it to the end - the end being 40+ weeks like i did - you've nearly convinced yourself that this baby isn't going anywhere, ever.

if you watch Parenthood last week's episode Kristina gives birth to her daughter. and i'm not sure if it was that episode or the one previous but Adam makes some comment about how fast the pregnancy has flown by. to this Kristina says, "to who?" classic. isn't it just like the man to think and say something like that! comical, to say the least. i don't think sam ever said anything of the like but if he had i'm sure i had a withering stare ready to put to good use.

if you don't watch Parenthood you should! even if you are in no way in that way of life you still should. it is fabulous.

i've had some good chats with people i really look up to and admire lately because i've had some interesting and challenging events transpire in the past few days. i don't know if its just me but i sort of thought i would get to a certain age - that certain age being a few years ago - and not have to deal with petty, dramatic people anymore. unfortunately, and as i have learned in the past few days, doth it is not true. not everyone is where i am in their own personal walk in life. i've had my fair share of pain, heartache and joy and have learned many, many things from all of those events. now of course i am not perfect, i still have faults and i can admit to them...and i do admit to them, often. and truthfully it is very difficult for me to deal with people who like to bring drama with them everywhere they go. i didn't care for it in high school and i don't care for it now. but i digress... i have been given some very sound advice and am thankful for it. i love that we get the opportunity to glean truth from older, more mature people that God gives us while we are on this earth.

but here is what i've come to realize. i could just let this advice in one ear and out the other or i could choose to let go of my anger, pray about my feelings, and take the advice offered. it would be easier to stay angry and it is a challenge to let go of the anger - that will take time - but it is more beneficial to me and my personal well being to take the advice that has been whispered and spoken gently to me.

every day is a growing experience or opportunity to grow. i look at evelyn and see that every day she is growing, changing, moving - literally - towards learning something new. and it seems this is what is meant for us our entire lives. we are meant to move toward something better as we grow and mature and hopefully grow and mature in the Lord. you can't get anywhere if you stay angry. evelyn has proven that when she throws down all her toys, fusses and waves her octopus arms at us. this means she has stopped trying but also that she needs us to help her into a better, more productive situation. of course this for her is usually due to hunger or being too tired to function anymore and that is to be expected. and i find when i stop trying i do something similar and need the advice of others to help encourage me into a better more productive place.  i hope to look back on my life one day and be able to say i didn't waste any opportunity to grow, that i refused to stay where i was or dwell too long on things that didn't matter. sometimes we just have to let go, wave our octopus arms and soak up the advice offered by someone more mature and wiser than we.

here is a pic from the baby shower.

luv these girls.

Nouveau départ

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."   ~anonymous

"Life is too short, grudges are a waste of perfect happiness, laugh when you can, apologize when you should and let go of what you can't change." ~ anonymous

"The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized - never knowing. " ~ Jim Rohn

"Immaturity is the incapacity to use one's intelligence without the guidance of another." ~ Immanuel Kant

all four of these quotes encompass the unfortunate scene i found myself in, dumbfounded, this evening. as much as i would like to be explicit with you right now i must be discrete and careful with my words.

tonight i was tagged with an accusation that is in every way false. false because it is simply not true.

have you ever tried very hard to get to know someone, stick your neck out, place your name on the line, offer out your home, lend your hand, your ear, in a time of need only to be told those things had not served the purpose intended? what do you do when you feel all your efforts have been in vein or fallen on deaf ears? what more can you do to make someone feel welcomed, important, accepted, loved? when you do all you know to do, go out of your way, make time when there is no time just to reach out only to find your hand slapped back? how then do you recover?

lots of questions. i know. that is all i have right now...there are no answers.

i have a lot of friends. i don't say that smugly or in any way to exalt me above someone who doesn't feel as if they are surrounded by a host of comrades. i say it because i am blessed, truly and honestly with many wonderful, encouraging, supportive and genuinely loving friends. some are old and some are new. and to be completely honest with you i can't even fill up a hand with a list of names of people who have accused me falsely of being insincere or unwelcoming in my 29 years on this earth. this is perhaps why tonight's events have so struck a chord in me.

so i am at a cross-roads of sorts. i don't know what else to do to show this person that i am earnestly trying to be welcoming and, well, friendly. truthfully, giving up would be the easy way out. and i would be lying if i didn't say i might just do it. but i didn't linger there long because i know better. i've learned from my life that giving up doesn't serve a positive purpose. and if anyone has been dealt challenging and horrible things, things that would justify giving up, i am that girl. and as difficult a pill to swallow as this is for me i am choosing to press forward and not throw in the towel.

A verse that has carried me through some of the most challenging and character building days of my life comes to my mind tonight: James 1:2-3. Count it all Joy my brothers whenever you face trials and tribulations for you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything. i lack so much. but i try so hard and choose to press on because it is right and important. and i can be the bigger person.


perhaps i am writing this as a last resort. in hopes that this individual might read this, in hopes that it might finally sink in that i'm not the enemy, i'm not being a bitch (pardon), that i might just really, genuinely care. maybe words are all i have left. and so i leave my words and a petition for peace, a fresh start, a new beginning.   

Nouveau départ

balance

finding balance is a terribly tricky thing. i'm usually very skilled at balance and juggling many tasks in a day and doing them all well. i pride myself on that, actually. i think it is a strength among my many weaknesses. but perhaps right now, in this chapter of life, i find myself juggling much more than i ever did in college or any other exceptionally busy time in my life. and truthfully i think things are only going to get busier and busier as my years creep on.

i am currently working on a medical transcription program online that i wish i had finished yesterday. it is interesting and challenging, two things i like, but it is so slow going its unreal. unfortunately i am not one of those people who can read something once, have it memorized, go take a test on it and pass with flying colors. i've always envied those people and wished upon a star, or two, for that particular gift. but that's just not me and i've come to grips with it. i actually came to grips with it back in college when i was having to read 14 Shakespeare plays in one semester and prove to the prof, and myself, that i wasn't a complete idiot and had chosen the right major. now that i think of it THAT, stripped down to what it was, may have been more challenging than this. but what makes this medical transcription program so challenging is evelyn. wait. not just evelyn. it is also housework, being a wife, a cheerleader, a cleaner, a baby-butt wiper, a milk maid, a daughter, a friend, a sister, a writer, and the list goes on and on...like the song that never ends. ***sorry if that is stuck in your head now***  i have been many of those things for a while now and have settled well into the role. some people like to say each of those things are "hats," i like to think of them as pairs of boots. probably because i could spend hours on zappos.com finding a new pair of boots i would KILL to have. hats or boots, or whatever it is you fancy, i wear many and am stretched thin.

it is difficult not to let myself be swept up and be taken over by all the things that i am and that i must accomplish in a day. so difficult that i think it is a daily struggle i find myself in. of course i am worried i won't find the time to finish my course, and there is a great deal of pressure there, or get all the house work done or whatever else proves to be pressing. and when i feel taken by the undertow i try to remind myself that this season, this chapter, this specific boot, whether warm and comfy or tight and narrow, is just a small portion of my life that really should be enjoyed and celebrated. now i'm not perfect in this, ask my husband or my mother, but i am blessed to have them, and others, as constant reminders to celebrate the moments and not let that aforementioned undertow take me down.

i sit here and stare at a screen, trying to work as hard and diligently as i can to learn about the medical world i will one day be working in while my healthy, happy baby sleeps. i am blessed beyond words to be able to stay at home with her and watch as she discovers her world. she smiles and laughs all the time. she's sitting up by herself and on the cusp of crawling. i have a husband who loves me even though i am not loveable sometimes. God just gave him a good job to provide for us. i have some of the dearest friends scattered across the united states and family near and far. our lives are full. we.are.blessed.

sometimes i wonder if i will ever reach a time and place, with the most fabulous pair of boots on of course, and have that balance i seek. probably not, but i know if i am to get close it won't be through my efforts alone. it will be because of the One who so graciously gives and by the patience and helping hands of those i get to walk through this life along side of. ***i know i ended that sentence with a preposition, don't freak. its okay. sometimes you have to break the rules.***

one day i will be done with this program. one day i will be a published author....
one day my daughter will be grown and i will be old. but that day is not today. today is wednesday, i think. i managed a shower, one cup of coffee, and my daughter is waking from her nap. that is today and all that really matters right now.

that thing that pops out of a turkey's butt

sam has an affinity for pizza every friday night. it can almost be likened to that thing that pops out of a turkey's butt when its done being cooked. something of that nature happens like clock work on friday evenings, i have grown to anticipate it and he has grown to expect it. now its not just him who has a turkey timer that pops forth from his butt it is a forrester family affair...really, a tradition. so we try and uphold said tradition in our own, small forrester sect.

***right now im typing one handed as my daughter gnaws, very painfully with her two bottom teeth, on my other thumb.***

so we headed to beaujo's pizza, a colorado pizza tradition, where honey is used on the crust, if you so choose, and you better because it is delicious!

walking in the place smelt of sweaty socks. not particularly dinner inspiring. we were maneuvered to our table, waaaaaaayyyy back in the back by a HUGE flat screen tv (not my fav because sam tends to be drwan to the pretty tv lights) and a large, loud wedding party. we got a seat for evelyn because she just simply protests laying supine anymore in her car seat, but she isn't quite big enough (big as she is) to not bobble and wobble around in the high chair. so i dig out everything bulky i can find from the diaper bag and proceed to pad it around her. it looks....ghetto at best, creative at worst. then i quickly wipe down everything i think she might touch, lick or try and eat within her reach. usually i miss the underside of the table or the belt that she manages somehow to get into her mouth.

last night as i performed my duties of wiping down everything dirty evelyn decides to face plant onto the table and lick as fast as she can the surface. two gentlemen at a different table behind us burst into laughter at this sight. not knowing we were a show i looked toward them and laughed too then gingerly un-suctioned my daughters lips from the table and offered some sort of toy. but toys don't last long and usually end up on the dirty, dirty floor...and i can't wipe that down with a wet wipe...or can i?

we ordered dinner, swapped places - took evelyn out of her padded highchair which she managed to find some way to slump to the left in regardless of all the junk shoved around her - did our little new-family-of-three-out-to-dinner-dance. as crazy and hectic as it really is when i think about it we really usually manage okay. and neither of us break down in the end so that's a positive.

well, as we were finishing up the wedding party table behind us was preparing to leave. evelyn is of course, hanging over my shoulder and flirting with whoever will give her attention...usually not a difficult feat for her to get attention. one lady in particular walks up close, nearly drooling over evelyn's cuteness factor and asks to hold her. now i'm a bit of a germ-a-phobe but i've come a long way since everyone wants to hold this child, touch this child, etc etc. so i let her hold evelyn. she gushed and gushed and kissed her face and evelyn just ate it up. when she handed her back she told me that evelyn looked just like me and she'd remember her forever. cute. sweet. sort of crazy but nice.

the table left and we started to pack up and pay. but before we were could leave one of the gentlemen from the aforementioned table (the one that laughed at evelyn's amazing, suction lips) came and said to us, "since you've had complete strangers come up to you all night i just had to say that even though that woman said she looks just like you (me) she really looks just like you, dad." sam beamed.

all in all it was a good pizza friday. evelyn held it together but really, more importantly, we held it together. we're getting good at this parenting-out-in-the-open stuff.

letting strangers touch and sometimes hold evelyn is hard because all i wonder is where their hands have been. yep, im one of those! but ive noticed lately the ones who flock to her and make it a point to stop for her just must need a little baby in their life. and who am i to deprive another of God's children a moment with a baby? so maybe this is the beginning of me giving her back to the one who gave her to me.

oh, mo.

here are some pics of evelyn over the past 6 weeks or so. enjoy.

meet frogalicious. one of mo's best friends. they nap together.

this is how i roll, son.

for mamaw. sam named the panda: sean wyatt billingsly the III

oh, guuuurl, my rolls go for miiiiles.

                                          

ijump

                                                                            

ifly

                                                                            

wait, i wasn't ready

                                                            

yes i would like more butter for my biscuit.

                                           

i am not amused

AHHHH!

i will get it, even if it kills me

done-skies. out. please.

the amazing, real life bobble head baby

evelyn is sitting up! she's like a real life bobble-head doll that bobbles her entire body as she fights to sit upright. we are lovin' her new tricks.

saw 50/50 today. overall pretty good. the grotesque, crude side-kick friend is a little over done - sure wish hollywood would get THAT memo - but setting that element aside it is very worth seeing.

we have been surprised by the suspiciously warm October weather. it isn't exactly pumpkin spice latte inspiring yet, but we can see some snow on the mountains and that is promising. i just can't wait for the first snow and the cooler weather to set in and settle around us. 

wishing i had a chocolate chip cookie right now. a soft, gooey, chocolate chip cookie. yum.

The Tree of Life

i will begin by saying this: you can trust me. now don't scoff and keep your "humphs" and "yeah right, guuurls" to yourself. but i know a thing or two when it comes to movies and books and well, many, many things (except for comma placement, perhaps) and i pride myself on that.

i'd like to recommend a movie to you: The Tree of Life. now, anyone who knows me knows i don't usually use caps. and when i do capitalize something it means it is REALLY important. and that is how i feel about the movie The Tree of Life. REALLY IMPORTANT. now i can't give you a synopsis because it would pale in comparison to the beauty of the story found between the previews and the end credits. just go see it. JUST GO SEE IT. and if it is out of theaters, which it may be, or only in the "artsy" ones, RENT IT when it comes out. oh, excuse me, get it on netflix. renting is for the birds.

here is a link, check it out. and when you do see it, tell me how much it changed your life.

link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0478304/

trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXRYA1dxP_0

don't waste any more time!!!