daunting decade

well evelyn seems to have very little interest in walking without holding onto something. she will push her walker all day long like a champ but when you take it away from her will just stand for a few seconds but then decide to sit and crawl. she has ventured out to take 5 or 6 steps but ends up plopping back down. i just hope she is walking by mid june when all her cousins get here so she can walk around and follow them...much for fun than crawling....or maybe not, maybe crawling is just the greatest fun of all fun. what do i know, i gave up crawling decades ago...yes, decades.

speaking of decades, i am approaching my third decade in a few months. yikesabee. i really don't know what to think about this daunting decade that i am inching toward every.single.day. makes me think of john mayer's song, stop this train. if you haven't heard it you can HERE. the lyrics are fantastic.

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't but honestly won't someone stop this train

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun

to me, the true brilliance of the song follows the previous line:

Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train

i think it is easy for many to find themselves in the lyrics of this song. i know i have find myself lingering in the spaces where i do feel scared to get older because i've only ever been young...and i know how to be young. the thought of turning 30, or any number older, just feels like i'm placing another brick onto the accelerator...speeding faster and faster to what? to where? to the unknown.

looking back i do wonder where my 20s went and how they went so fast.  it may be a bit early for this, but here are some of the highlights of my 20s:

~ found my way to bryan college

~ met some of the most incredible people and forged some of the greatest friendships of my life

~ found myself

~ met my husband

~ graduated from bryan

~ married my husband

~ started a life with my husband

~ had evelyn

i would have to say all in all my 20s have been pretty kick ass. i guess there won't be any stopping this train. 30s...here i come.



the prodigal rib

i had had the most productive work week, balance-it-all week, until i woke up this morning to my rib out of place for the third time in a year. this unfortunate and excruciatingly painful prodigal rib is result of lifting too much weight in my 30 minute attempt at the arms P90X DVD. so today i can barely: lift my 20 pound daughter (who is currently yanking every clean cloth diaper out of the sack and stacking them on the couch), turn my head to the left, or complete any work while she slept. i suppose i was due a good "rest day" but don't feel rested, not one bit...i just feel stiff and twinges of pain.

thankfully, thought, i have an aunt who can fix my unfortunate, non-serendipitous prodigal rib. just waiting on her to show up and hoping evelyn doesn't require much physical contact for, um, at least 2 days. huh, yeeah riiight.

in evelyn news: she has started to shake her head "yes" to questions. questions like, "do you want an orange?" "do you want to see so-and-so?" "do you want to be potty trained today?" its fantastically charming when she does it and it always makes me smile. she is little-miss-personality. she gets so wrapped up in her books sometimes she just can't help but take a bite of one of the corners...nibble here, nibble there. we've taken to hiding the "good" books because they really don't stand a chance once her razor sharp pearly whites get to chewing.

still no walking by herself...without holding onto something else that is. she is a champ at walking with her walker-thing with wheels that she can push - like a mini lawn mower...maybe i should put her to work outside on the grass. holdthatthought. but she will attempt to push anything she can get to budge: her small fold-up chair, a big chair, her wagon, a box of cereal, it doesn't matter really. she will stand alone but when she realizes it she usually crouches low, sits then: commence crawling. i'm sure she will walk when she finds it more efficient than crawling. i keep telling her, "come on, start crawling so we can get you potty trained!" i'm dead serious. i'm tired of this diaper nonsense. :)

i've cut my hair really short but no one seems to notice. (my husband didn't even notice. when i brought to his attention that something was different he focused his gaze, squinted his eyes and asked, "you put on make-up today?" thanks, honey, but nope. i chopped off about 8 inches of hair! *withering stare*) maybe i should pull a britney to get some acknowledgement of my new do? thoughts?

now that every diaper is out of the bag and covering the floor and my prodigal rib is screaming at me i will go take a big cocktail of drugs and wait out coldplay to come fix me.

* i was kidding about the cocktail. happy friday!